Talk about boundaries now
Encourage your child to discuss their boundaries related to intimate activity, alcohol, and relationships. They should also be encouraged to express those personal boundaries and any expectations to others.
Engage in a conversation about consent
What does consent look like and what does it NOT look like.
NCMC’s definition of consent is: An active process where there is clear and unmistakable voluntary agreement, expressed in mutually understandable words or actions, to engage in sexual activity. Silence or absence of resistance does not imply consent. Informed consent cannot be gained by force, coercion, threat, by ignoring or acting in spite of the objections of another, or by taking advantage of the incapacitation of another, where the respondent knows or reasonably should have known of such incapacitation. Informed consent is also absent when the activity in question exceeds the scope of informed consent previously given, i.e. past consent does not imply future consent. Consent to engage in sexual activity with one person does not imply consent to engage in sexual activity with another. Consent can be withdrawn at any time. In the state of Missouri, consent cannot be provided if the person lacks the mental capacity to authorize the conduct charged to constitute the offense and such mental incapacity is manifest or known to the actor; or it is given by a person who by reason of youth, mental disease or defect, intoxication, a drug-induced state, or any other reason anyone under the age of seventeen cannot give informed consent.
Bring up “What if?” scenarios
Ex. what if you are at a party and alcohol is present, what if you are in an intimate situation and want to stop what is occurring (or go farther), what if a friend is in a dangerous situation, how do you know if the person has consented, what should you do if an assault occurs, etc.
Discuss the link between sexual assault and alcohol
The National Institute of Alcohol and Abuse and Alcoholism estimates that alcohol is present in about ½ of sexual assaults. Many doctors and experts point out that alcohol is the most common “date rape drug” and rapists may use it to lower defenses of their victims and/or justify their behavior.
Talk about sexual assault directly
For some, safety issues like sexual assault aren’t on the radar. On the other hand, they may have misconceptions about sexual assault they’ve picked up from peers or the media. Bring up statistics that relate to them. Explain that no one “looks like a rapist,” and that 4/5 of assaults are committed by someone known to the victim. Also, have frank conversations regarding how to treat others and demonstrate respect.
Know where to get help
NCMC takes sexual misconduct, in any form, very seriously. Your first concern is, of course, the safety and well-being of your child. Wright Memorial Hospital employs a SANE (Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner) that can assist your child in seeking medical follow-up. If an immediate danger exists, don’t hesitate to contact the Trenton Police Department. Follow-up should occur with the Title IX Coordinator. The Coordinator can discuss options, including assistance seeking any additional medical follow-up, remedial measures, counseling, campus conduct options, as well as assistance in following-up with law enforcement.
If an assault happens, it’s important to know what to do, where to go, and that it’s never the survivor’s fault!
- Seek assistance – The College can assist your child with seeking medical treatment and counseling. They can also inform them of their options, including campus conduct procedures and reporting to law enforcement
- Request campus accommodations, if needed – It’s important your child feel safe on campus
- Contact the Title IX Coordinator:
Dr. Kristen Alley, Vice President of Student Affairs/Title IX
12 ASC, 1204 Mable Street
- North Central MO Mental Health Center, 1601 East 28th St., Trenton, MO, 660-359-4487
- NCMC Counselor, Alexander Student Center, 660-357-6418
- Trenton Police, 17th and Harris, Trenton, MO Emergencies: 911 or 660-359-2121
- Wright Memorial Hospital, 191 Iowa Boulevard, Trenton, MO 660-358-5700. A Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner (SANE) is available. Call in advance
- Green Hills Women’s Shelter – advocacy and support for victims of sexual violence. 24-hour hotline: 1-800-942-0649, serving both male and female victims
- National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)
- Additional resources can be found on www.ncmissouri.edu